The cruelest kind of violence has become our everyday life. It happens in schools, families, on the street, in the work environment. There are more and more victims, the culprits are getting younger. What to say and how to raise children in the digital age when everything is available to them, except their parents, when they trust everyone, especially their parents. When parents, suffocating in their own problems, do not see the problems of their own children. About the causes, consequences, how to react and prevent, we talked with Gordana Rajić, Ombudsman for children of the Republika Srpska.
She says that the the whole system failed – from parents, school and the whole society.
“There is constant talk in the media about peer violence, but the fact is that we have not taken that scale and that brutality seriously until now. Unfortunately, it was obvious that something this cruel had to happen, so that concrete measures should be taken.”
Rajić emphasizes that we are all bombarded with violent content every day.
“This is something that is most represented in our media. I think that someone who grows up in such an environment and who does not know that there is some other side of the story, over time begins to understand such behavior as something normal and acceptable, and that is certainly not good or advisable or present in any child’s life.”
She states that parents should take into account how their children spend their time and, as much as they can, control the contents that children access, although it is very difficult.
“Given that bans won’t solve a lot of things, I think that we have to systematically work on this issue and that we actually take care of what we offer our children.”
He says that the complete abolition of media content is neither realistic nor possible to expect
“If we forbid them to do something at home, there are other places where they will come into contact with such content again. I think the key is in responsible use. We have to talk to children, we have to pay attention to them and we have to teach them from an early age what those acceptable and unacceptable forms of behavior and monitor their behavior as much as possible, and when we notice any change or something that could be an alarm signal, we need to react and involve some other institutions because often parents are not able to cope on their own with the problems that children face.”
To the question of how to systematically solve the whole problem, she answers: “First of all, we cannot separate the role of the family from the schools, I think that it should not be viewed separately. Education starts from the family, but it should certainly have its continuation and addition in the school. Unfortunately, plans and programs are overloaded, children are busy with extracurricular activities and somehow that educational role is getting lost more and more. If you don’t get that part of education from your parents or at school, then you will get it from your peers or in some other places and you will definitely come to some contents that are not acceptable and adopt a model of behavior that is not appropriate for children.”
She believes that every event like this, considering the way it was carried out and the fact that it caused a certain amount of media attention, is a cry for someone to listen to that child and his problem.
“But the way in which attention is drawn is certainly inadequate. I don’t think that punishment alone or lowering the limit will have any effect on such events. It is better to act preventively, to educate children and professional workers and parents and all those who are in contact with children. Prevention is always a better form of protection than punishment.”
“The message to parents is that the time they spend with their children should be quality, that they should take an interest in their problems. What seems banal to us may be a big burden to them. They should always have time to listen to what they think, what bothers them, what they are interested in and to we strive for them to get all the information from us, and not for them to look for it somewhere else,” concluded Rajić.
